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A GIRL BEHIND A CURTAIN

'Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain...'

My friend Rosemary over at Ozma of Odds has a little saying at the top of her blog.
'Musings from the girl behind the lace curtain'


I feel kind of like that.
Like I am there- behind that curtain and I pull it aside occasionally
and share a bit but a lot stays behind that curtain.

I often say that I am like 'Bob' in 'What About Bob'
I baby step my way through things....
a little here, and an inch more there...
I find myself arriving somewhere eventually...
but not because I ran a race full steam ahead to get there
but because I timidly moved in that direction.


I started my blog to keep myself immersed in being creative.
A place to fuel some of my bigger goals and dreams.
A place to be surrounded by all the incredibly creative people out there in the blogs
To be inspired and to hopefully inspire others.


For 6 months I posted just a handful of times
and my sweet sister Taylor who was my one and only follower commented (Love you Tay!)
I didn't really 'blog'. I didn't feel creative. I didn't feel more immersed.
I had nothing that spurred me to blog...or to create or to write.
Until one day last June.


Some of you know how very close Grammy and I were.
She had advanced dementia by June and was further away than ever.
Though she was here physically, I was missing her greatly.
Missing our talks and her words of wisdom and guidance.
I wanted to share joys, the memories, dreams with her.

My oldest child was graduating High School and I was so incredibly proud.
but... I paused just a little.
How could that little 7 lb baby be this big grown up young man standing before me ?
How had 18 years already gone by since he was born?

My younger children are just a few short years behind him and all of a sudden
my identity as a mother felt like it was starting to become a shadow.
I wondered...
Who would I be when my children were grown up and didn't need me as much?

It's safe to say that I was having just a wee bit of an identity crisis
and for the first time in awhile...
I needed to write
and to create.


Honestly, over the past year,
this little blog has been my salvation.

My world to go to for a reason to create.
To write and to get lost in a different place occasionally.
A place where I have met some very very good friends.

A place where I really feel for the first time in so many years
I have been able to spread my little old creative wings and dust them off a bit.


So... I consider July my blogiversary.
July was the very first time I pulled that curtain aside just a little bit more
and looked out and didn't just stick my toes in the water...
I jumped in
holding my breath
expecting that I would sink...


But I found warm waters and lots of support in the waves as they came.
So I just want to thank you all so much for your support and friendship
and for taking the time to read what this girl puts out there.
I am amazed every day at how incredible this blogging community is
and honored that you include my blog in your reading list.
:)

(uhmmm... I seriously feel so. darn. naked. right now.)

So let's just get to the GIVEAWAY to celebrate my blogiversary...
I have a
fabulous giveaway coming your way!!

Oh I just had the most fun this afternoon !
I am sooo excited about it!!!
You are going to LOVE it!
I can't wait to tell you what it is!

See you tomorrow!

;)



10 comments

  1. What a great post. I am so glad you decided to jump in feet first. We are a blessed bunch of reader to have your blog:)You're an inspiration to many. Keep up the great work, girlfriend. Happy Blogging Anniversary!

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  2. What an inspiration you are!! If my baby steps take me a fraction as far, I would be so happy :). Thanks for sharing, and for your beautiful pictures!

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  3. What a personal and lovely post. I can't wait to see what you have for a giveaway. I too was treading water when my kids grew up...for a long time. Empty Nest Syndrome just about did me in even though I have a full time job. Way too much time on my hands...but between my blog and my house I managed to fill the time and now things are much better. I'm not adrift anymore. Thanks for sharing a piece of yourself!

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  4. Such a beautiful heartfelt post. Have just discovered your blog via Facebook and will stay here to read for a while :D Have a nice blogversary!

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  5. Wow Courtney, what a great post!! I felt kind of the same way. I started my blog because my little one will be going off to kindergarten and once she starts first grade I'll be back in the "real" world looking for a job for the first time, in almost, 13 years!! I don't just want a job. I want something that I'll enjoy doing and somewhere I can be creative. We'll see, but that's what I'm hoping for. I also find the blog definite motivation for me to get things done, those little or big projects.

    Congratulations on you anniversary!! Thanks soo exciting! You've come a long way and I'll bet is feels great. : ) You've been soo nice to me since day one. Starting out can be a little intimidating and you've been very supportive with your comments. Thanks for being such a sweetie!! ~ Catie
    http://catiescorner2.blogspot.com

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  6. A beautifully written post, definitely from the heart. Congratulations!

    Pat

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  7. This is beautiful, Courtney. I'm sorry I missed it and didn't come to comment when you wrote it. You know I understand the way you feel...sometimes life is so hard. I'm so happy you decided to take a leap of faith and jump right in.

    big hugs to you ♥ tricia

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  8. Hi, i am a follower...i would love to win this book so i can give it to my sister...awesome blog ox

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  9. Hello Lovely! I have been reading through today, I happened to be looking for something on my blog and saw your gorgeous blue chair...that lead me to read all of your posts that I hadn't read. Needless to say, your blog is the only one:) I still love seeing what you are doing, and I must say this post puts alot in perspective. I think your creativity and photos keep getting better and better. Thanks for letting me look around, and I hope all is well with you!
    Hugs-Erin

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  10. it look unusual, i like it so much and i love your exclusive ideas, thanks, my blog at Curtain designs

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