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Now I know where to find me...

This is my grandmother.

We have always been incredibly close-since I was a little girl...
she always said I was like her 3rd baby...
She has been one of my biggest supporters,
encouraged my every step and loved me no matter what.

One of the reasons I moved to the area where we live now
was to be near her and take care of her
and my grandfather as they got older and
I really wanted her to know my children and for them to know her-
thankfully that happened before dementia.

She has what they say is advanced dementia and now lives in a locked care facility-
So much has happened in the past couple of years...

I feel so fortunate and blessed to have my grandmother here
and to be able to hold her hand and talk to her,
but I would be lying if I told you that it didn't hurt my heart to see her sometimes.

Everything that made up 'Grammy' is hidden now...

But somewhere inside, I know she is there.

She has always known my daughter and I until recently...
it is so hard to walk in with that big smile and say hello and have someone not even know you are there.
But even so,
I am so happy to take what ever it is that she has to offer from day to day.

My daughter and I were visiting the other day...
Grammy was holding her babies and loving them-
(she thinks the dolls are real babies- we are used to it.)
She was smiling ,cooing & chatting to them...
and then telling us just how beautiful she thought they were...
Of course, we agreed.

Grammy was in a great mood,
we laughed and enjoyed the smiles she shared and the funny things she said...

On the door to her room there is a piece of paper that has her name written on it.


It's been there for several months...
but the other day she noticed it for some reason and said to my daughter

"Look it, there's my name on the wall..."

Ansley replied
"Yes...this is your room Grammy."

"Oh good!"
she replied with a smile.

"Now when I'm lost...
I know where to find me."


Sometimes, I think I need one of those signs...


  1. How wonderful that you get to be close to your Grandmother at this time in her life. Dementia is a very difficult thing for loved ones to deal with, it sounds like you are really making the best of it.

  2. What a sweet post Courtney. My grandma had dementia so I know how hard it can be. Every once in awhile though, there would be a glimmer of who she used to be, which made me happy and sad all at once. Your so lucky to live near your grandma. I love her little quote :)

  3. This is such a sweet heartfelt post Courtney. It is so hard to watch a loved one going through something such as dementia. I'm glad you and your Gram have each other! Sounds like she has quite a fun personality!!

  4. I'm so glad you shared this. I've got tears in my eyes. My mom celebrated her 96th in October. She gets confused at times, but still doing very well. How blessed to have these wonderful ladies in our lives! ~ Sarah

  5. What a great picture... and the smiles are so sweet. Sounds like she has a great sense of humor despite the dementia. My grandma suffered from the illness in her last year of life. I understand how difficult it is. My heart goes out to you and your family. Nice that you guys are close and like Chrissie said... you're making the most of it! xo

  6. Hugs to you Courtney! My father had alzheimer's and he would say the funniest things some times. We had to keep our sense of humor about things that's for sure. The hardest part was when he began to forget who I was. Your grandma seems to have kept her humor and has the sweetest smile!

  7. ~*~*Im in tears right now.I LOVED this special post Courtney!! ;) Im teary, but so thankful to read such a touching post~*~HUGS my friend, Rachel~*~*

  8. Oh Courtney....I so-o understand the emotional rollercoaster that dementia grieve... even when they are still, physically, with you. My father has had Alzheimers for several years. I know the journey you are on right now. Your grandmother looks happy, well taken care of, and loved. And..she is so fortunate to have such a loving and caring granddaughter in her life. My thoughts are with you.

  9. What a beautiful post. My heart is big after reading it.

  10. Very sweet indeed. What a great post.

  11. Courtney, Oh, the similarities you and I have. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and sounds soo much like your Grammy, in the ways of now and yesterday. Too, my daughter's middle name is Ainsley. So glad you can be near Grammy:)

  12. Oh Courtney that is so beautiful! I am so glad that you still are able to share good times and remember the all the wonderful things between you and your Grammy. I can't imagine how hard it must be on the bad days, but bless you for being there for her no matter what! And yes, we all need that little sign when we get lost, that little reminder of who we are. Hugs to you!

  13. Oh Courtney I LOVE this post! Thank you so much for sharing this with us and letting us peek into your life a little more! What a blessing you are to your grandmother and really to your entire family. You are setting a wonderful example to your kiddos (and everyone else) of how to love and care for our elders even when they don't know us or all we are doing. My grandmother lives all the way across the country and sits in a little room and it makes me ache that I can't go see her and give her a hug or squeeze her mom says I have her hands.
    Anyway, thanks again for sharing this!
    Blessings my friend,

  14. This is a beautiful story aand the pictures of your grandmother and dtg are adorable

  15. What an absolutely wonderful story! I know you will always treasure that moment, as will your daughter! Thanks so much for sharing that.


  16. I am your newest FOLLOWER, I have come by chance and found this beautiful story about your Grammy! I LOVE how you feel about her, I had the same relationship with my Gramma and she too lived her remaining years with Alzheimer's. My Gramma has been gone for MANY years but I also did a post for her, I think I will LINK "Her Post" to your "Feathered Nest Friday"... "MAYBE" you will become a FOLLOWER for me too... I would LOVE to have you visit my world too... Thank you for your beautiful story, and Giant Gentle Hugs to you and your Grammy...

  17. What a sweet post about your Grammy. I am so glad that you moved close so that your children could know her. I loved looking at your pictures - she looks truly happy.

  18. Oh this has just touched my heart. I am sorry that you are going thru this with your beloved grammy, but at the same time you have the chance to share time together and also share laughs. Your grammy looks so happy and only she knows the love and memories her heart holds. You are blessed, Char

  19. Oh Courtney,
    Your sweet post has touched my heart. I must admit it has teared me up because as I read it I'm thinking of my grandma Chuy, who I was very close to also...She too had dementia. She is no longer with us and I miss her every day...It is wonderful that you are able to spend time with your grammy...cherish every minute. Thank you for sharing such a personal and beautiful part of your life. Have a wonderful day.

    Hugs and Blessings,

  20. Courtney, This is the sweetest post and it just touched my heart. Both of my grandmothers passed a long time ago but I have such happy childhood memories of them. You are such a blessing to your Grammy and even though she is sometimes "hidden" I believe she still knows how much you love her.

  21. Hi Courtney ~ I was away yesterday so I'm only getting to your post now! What a beautiful, lovely post that has memories flooding back to me about my own 'grammy'. Yours is so very precious and she is also so very blessed to have an amazing grand-daughter like yourself! Thank you for sharing something so personal and warming my soul on this chilly, damp Friday! xox

  22. What a beautiful post! Now I know where to find me ~ words to live by. What an inspiration she must have been to your life. You are blessed to have had this wonderful relationship with your Grandmother. Thanks for sharing.

  23. What a beautiful post about your can tell how much you love her.

  24. It is very beautiful to see you, a young person, adore your Grandmother. Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year.